A Letter to Marcus on his 1st Birthday

Dear Marcus,

Today you are one year old.  I cannot believe those words just left my fingertips!  It feels like 3 seconds ago I was listening to your cry and anxiously waiting to see your sweet face for the first time.  The nine months I carried you flew by... I was so busy chasing your big brother Aaron around that I barely had time to think of what it might feel like to have my heart double in size at the mere sight of you.  I felt weightless and breathless and overjoyed.  I didn't even realize until that moment that there had been something missing in my life... you. 

The downside to the way in which you were born is that I was unable to hold you right away.  In fact, I wasn't able to hold you for the first hour of your life because my core temperature dropped too low.  It was the longest and hardest hour ever!  Your Daddy held you to me for kisses and I marveled at your perfect little bow mouth and your full head of blond hair and ached to hold you.  When I finally got to snuggle you I didn't want to let go.  The first thing I did was smell your breath... I did the same thing with your big brother.  It sounds strange, I know.  It is simply the best smell ever... pure life.

I couldn't wait for Aaron to meet you.  Once we got to our room Daddy went to get him.  Ace, GG and Mimi were there to keep us company... and love on you, of course.  When Aaron and Daddy arrived he ran to you, pulled off your hat and said "Oooohhh, he's beautiful.  Can we take him home now?"  Watching Aaron become a big brother was amazing and it was because of you.

Before you were born I worked full time and loved my job.  It was challenging, rewarding and fulfilling.  I thought I would return after 3 months home with you.  It didn't take long for me to realize that I just couldn't do it.  Staying home and caring for you and Aaron was exactly what I was meant to do.  I resigned from my career and have never looked back.  Being a mom and wife was always my dream... but being YOUR mom has exceeded every expectation. 

This past year has been amazing.  Watching you learn and grow... absolutely priceless.  I'm teary-eyed writing this.  I'm so glad I was here to witness you learn to roll over, sit, laugh, clap, blow kisses, and wave.  I'm even glad to have seen every failed attempt at standing, every head bump on the coffee table and every temper tantrum when Aaron takes something away from you that you were playing with.

It is difficult to describe the wonderful, complicated, independent and amazing little person you've become over the past 12 months.  Here is my attempt at painting a picture of you as you are today...

• You are a funny, kind, sweet, happy, loving and energetic little boy.   
• You ADORE your big brother and laugh at just about anything he says or does.  
• You are walking now but still prefer to crawl.  
• Your eyes are blue... a beautiful blue!
• Your hair is blond, silky and curly.  
• You have 4 teeth... 2 on top and 2 on bottom (two more top teeth are nearly through).  
• You are roughly 25 pounds and 29 inches tall (although we'll find out for sure next week).  
• You wear 12-18 month clothing and size 4-5 shoes.  
• You say "mama", "dada", "baba", "no" and "dog" with regular frequency.  You make lots of other noises that almost sound like words but so far that is all we can decipher.  
• You know exactly how to convey what you want and need by grunting, dragging us and pointing.  Your non-verbal communication is top notch.  
• You are an excellent dancer!  We say "wiggle wiggle" to you and you give us a little shimmy shake that knocks our socks off!  You take it to the floor and then back up again.  It's too cute for words!  
• You smile and laugh all the time.  We joke that if you're not smiling, you're sleeping.  
• You love books. right now... your favorites are "Bright Baby Animals" and "Little Blue Truck" (Thank you Gainers!!).  You like them because we make funny animal sounds when we read them.  
• When we ask you what a dog says you say "dog, dog, dog".  When we ask you what a bear says you growl with ferocity!  It's my favorite and something you've done for a looong time!  
• You tattle on yourself by saying "no, no, no" as you're doing something you shouldn't... like messing with the electrical outlets or smacking the television. 
• You don't like wearing shoes and kick and pump your legs until they come off.  You are so proud when you succeed in shaking them off.  
• I sing to you when I put you down for naps and bedtime.  If I am slow to start singing when we sit in your rocker you reach up and pat my lips while whimpering.  When I start singing, you settle in for a snuggle and a bottle.  The songs on our current playlist are SongBird by Fleetwood Mac and Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks.  Other songs from the past year are Make you Feel my Love, Return to Pooh Corner, True Colors... there are others I'm forgetting.  
• When Daddy asks you to say "dada" you look at him, grin, and very deliberately say "mama"... this is just one of about a billion ways you crack us up.  
• Your current method for getting our attention is to gag yourself.  We despise it and hope this phase passes quickly.  
• You don't like velcro... in fact, it makes you anxious and you run to me for snuggles.  I would be lying if I said I didn't torment you with it every now and then.  Hey, I'm not perfect... sometimes I just want to feel needed!  :)
• One of your greatest loves is eating (hmmm... I wonder where you got that?).  You are most certainly NOT picky.  Some of your all-time favorites include avocado, carrots, cantaloupe, green beans, turkey meatballs, rotisserie chicken, black beans, pirate booty, McDonald french fries and ANYTHING in a sippy cup.  

My sweet Marcus... I've just read over what I wrote to you and it still feels inadequate.  I cannot seem to find the words that capture just how wholly I love you.  It is difficult to describe the joy you bring to our family or the silliness you've added.  Just know that I couldn't be happier to be your mom and that you will always be my baby, my angel boy, my love dove, my marky-do.  I will always be your biggest supporter, your paparazzi, your OCD party planner, your serenader and your mommy.

I love you biggest!

-Mommy  

Aaron would also like to add what he wrote in Marcus' Birthday card.  It is completely unedited by us and so... honest.  (Have I mentioned his card-writing skills before? If not... Awesome!  He just... gets it and is quite good at dictating what he wants to say.)

Dear Marcus J. Jeffrey Libertore,

You like to play with me.  You love me and trust me and I love you too.  Sometimes you hit me and it makes me cry.  I like your new crocs and you like my new hat.  I want to play with you forever.  That is enough for now.  Happy Bird-day!

Love,

Aaron